A post by a Facebook friend prompted this post. He spoke about how his son is being bullied by his "friends" from church because he is no longer active in church. It has caused me to do a lot of reflecting on the topic. My last post was talking a lot about how sometimes in life you have to stand alone, and its ok. I wish when I was a kid, I knew and understood that.
The summer before my 9th grade year started one of the hardest times of my life. I had had the same friends since elementary school. Many of them were from my own ward. I remember the conversation that started it all like it was yesterday. My two best friends and I were driving home from a youth activity. I made a comment about how I did not agree with some decisions they were making in there lives. There response was, if you do not like what we are doing then don't hang out with us anymore. I didn't take it that serious but they did. They stopped answering my phone calls, refused to talk to me and pretty much turned every friend I had ever known against me. I remember going to girls camp that summer. I didn't want to go because I knew they would be unkind but tried to do the right thing by going anyway. I remember the mean things they said, and how they laughed at me for being a "goody goody" I remember how alone I felt but how I tried not to let anyone see it. I don't think my own family knows about how I was treated and how alone I really was. I remember going to the high school football games and my parents asking why I was not sitting with my friends. They had no idea my friends were my bullies. I know they knew somewhat, but did not know the extent. I was forced to make all new friends, ones who respected my values and choices. I didn't play volleyball or basketball my sophomore or junior year because the team was made up of these girls. I did not go to mutual, but never lost my testimony. I stayed active in church because my testimony was not based on those around me. As we all got older and matured, some of those girls began to build a relationship with me again. I would not say it was ever the same as before, but I tried to put the past in the past. I know that many of those girls are my friends on Facebook, and many of them probably don't even think of those days and remember what I do, but it doesn't matter. I hold not grudges of the past. I know people change. I too have made mistakes in my past that I wish I could change. I have done my best to make myself a better person as I learn from my mistakes and I assume these girls have done the same too.
Those memories of my youth have changed how I parent my own kids. Being popular plays no role in my parenting. Whether my kids play sports, do drama, sing in the choir, or play in the orchestra does not matter to me. What does matter, is that they have good friends who support them and their values. I want my kids to be the type of kids who are a friend to EVERYONE.I want them to be confident enough in themselves to befriend those who stand alone. ( I can remember some of these girls from my youth who did not want to mistreat me, but knowing that defending me would get them the same alienation, so they stayed silent) I want people to feel better about themselves after being around them. One of my favorite scriptures is in 1 Samuel 16:7 "for the lord seeth not as man seeth, for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." Just because someone is Mormon, does not mean they are a good influence, just because someone is not Mormon does not mean they are a bad influence. We can not look on what we see on the outside, we have to look on a persons heart to see what type of person they are.
When Heavenly Father looks as us, does he see black or white, democrat or republican, Mormon or Catholic? No!! He sees his children. He loves us all unconditionally! I wish we could all do this too. When we look around us, do not see what we dislike or what we disagree about, see our brother or sister. See a son or daughter of God. I wish we could all see each other and our selves as Heavenly Father sees us. The world would be such a better place.
I apologize for yet another very long post :) guess I have a lot on my mind lately. I have a testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints! I know this church is true. People are not perfect, but our Heavenly Father is perfect and so is his love for us. The atonement is real! We can all repent when we do wrong and we can all learn to forgive when we have been wronged ourselves.
THE END! haha
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